Wednesday, January 6, 2016

I am Renewed

I am here to tell a story. I am Teresa the storyteller. I am Teresa Wilkinson. I am Teresa Meadows. This morning I became I am Renewed.

I started my morning waking from the deepest sleep, refreshed, happy, and fulfilled. My guidance told me to drive through the rain and spend time with my Mother. She was so happy to be awakened by me. My heart filled with joy to be received by love. Forgiveness has lead to a Mothers love, an experience I celebrate.

Driving back I received my name, Renewed.

I am Renewed with every breath I breathe. I breathe in peace and exhale love. My mustard seed faith brought me here. The Christ light within me was the beacon that showed the way. I am Renewed. I am the soulful being of love, created by Divine Intelligence.

I am approaching 2016, with guidance from within and from the universe. I will journey forward as Renewed. Guided by Divine Intelligence and Love.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Affirmation "I go forth in the name of love."


I go forth in the name of love.

My first experience with baptism was April 10th, 1977. I was baptized with love in my heart for my parents whom told me this was mine to do. I did it with love in my heart for my church community at the time. I did it with absolute trust that although my 5th grade mind did not understand the complexity of the Christian baptism, I did it anyway. After all my mother made me a very special yellow dress for that Easter Sunday occasion.

My baptism was based on the scripture quote from Acts 2:38
“Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your
sins;and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

I was confused some by the literal translation of this scripture and trying to remember how much sin I had committed as an eleven year old child. I went to my father expressing my confusion and he encouraged me to follow my heart.

I followed my heart through out my life and I found the metaphysical definition of baptism works best for me.

Charles Fillmores, “The Revealing Word”, defines

Baptism, The spiritual cleansing of the mind.

My understanding of baptism now happens often. I would even venture to say baptism happens daily as I travel through some events in this current journey. Metaphysical baptism is a release. I follow my faith within to the expression of God within me, I release all of my stress and worries over to the universe and breathe in the peace and joy that is around me for I know that my highest good is the expression of God the Good. During times when I am uncertain and I turn to faith and follow my gut intuition I am baptised in the metaphysical definition of baptism.

There are times my human experience is confusing, I begin to doubt, have fear and question my path. I wonder whom am I really expressing, is it ego or higher consciousness. I wonder am I truly expressing my current highest good, I doubt who I am.

I usually become doubt filled directly after I have lost patience with those I love.

That seems simple. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but when I am studying grabbing a few moments of peace for meditation or prayer and I am interrupted I become frustrated, I react with a curt tone or unfavorable response to my loved ones and I doubt my path. How can I express my highest good, when I can not keep patience with those I cherish? Am I expressing the Best Christ I can be?

After these moments, I need a metaphysical baptism. I need a spiritual cleansing of the mind. I need to realize my Truth. I combat my doubt by baptising my mind and spirit with affirmations “I go forth in the name of love.”, I pray and meditate, I forgive and I emerge clean, spirit filled, and purified. I am at peace and I begin again. If I find myself reacting adversely 5 minutes later I excuse myself and do it again. Hence my mentioning sometimes I have to be baptised several times a day.  

This spiritual being having a human experience, has to remind herself this is my journey. I understand the metaphysical definition of baptism and the love it gives me a clearer understanding of that I am the bearer of peace and love. I can forgive, just as I am forgiven, I can love for I am loved, I can experience a spiritual cleansing of my mind at any time in any place.”I am baptized in the name of love and I go forth, as Jesus did, to be love, compassion, and kindness in the world.” quoted from June 24, 2015 Daily Word.


Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Spirit I Knew as Jan

My friend made her transition in early June. The loss devastated me in many ways. I was lost for a little bit, afraid and lonesome. Then the universe opened up to me. The following is my memorial to Jan. I miss her but I now see. I will always love, Jan.

My friend Jan made her transition June 11, 2014. My reaction that day was strong pain, tears of sorrow and wondering what was I suppose to do now, my mentor was out of reach. That day I was inconsolable. I have been told that being selfish during grief is human and to experience the feelings and honor my feelings. Now I can move forward and share with you my friend the ‘Spirit Known as Jan’.

Jan was joyful, beautiful, intelligent, worldly, and kind. I shared with Jan that I had become the insect disposer at work. Her reaction was “Oh, Teresa don’t kill them. Tell me you are not killing the bugs?” My vegetarian concerned with all beings in our world the consummate giver of unconditional love and peace to all beings human and other. This was my friend. I don’t think I will ever look at a bug or anything the same way after my short experience with Jan.

My Mother and I spent the Sunday afternoon before her transition with Jan. I will forever be happy for that time. She let me teach her how to build folders using Windows 7. She giggled with joy as she successfully transported files into folders. We talked and visited for 4 hours that day, during the time the subject went to her transition. Selfishly I told her she couldn't go she had too much to teach me. I changed the subject looking around her apartment wanting to ask questions about this and that. I have hundreds of questions.

When I began to receive the calling to become a minister Jan was the second person I told. I trusted her with my secrets, my loves, my joys, my pains and all things I about myself. Jan understood me. The subject came up once about super powers. A few days later after contemplation and meditation I proclaimed my super power was love. She was thrilled and agreed but she shared there was so much more to me. Jan saw all my possibilities, she encouraged me, loved me and cherished me. She kept reminding me, when life attacked that I was called to be a minister. Jan believed in me.

Jan never scolded or corrected me. I went to her with a trouble, something that had wounded me deeply. Jan had me create a list of the things that brought me joy. There was no particular order to the list just a list of things that brought me joy. I brought the list to her and I was laughing upon review my husband was not on my quickly made list. Jan brought to my attention that I had not included myself on the list either. “Do you not give yourself joy?” Jan asked me. I don’t think I answered that question, but it gave me so much to consider. I am taking steps to enjoy just being me.

The very last memory I have of Jan is beautiful. I realized how late is was our visit had lasted 4 hours. My husband would be looking for me, dinner was not ready and oh boy was I going to be late. Jan said, “I am really glad you joined the choir. I love your voice and energy up there. You know my kids begged me not to sing. I don’t have the breath control and just can’t sing, but I dated an opera singer for a time and he taught me how to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ in staccato.” Jan sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me as I left. I was serenaded by my friend the sound was beautiful. Her face smiling beaming in joy.

Jan’s love overflowed her physical being in her human form. Her spirit filled the room with laughter and joy. June the eleventh I thought, I was afraid, her spirit was gone that I would never experience her again. I was wrong. My memories bring her to me. The wisdom she shared with me is always with me. Her jokes, teasing remarks and unconditional love for me is forever within me. Jan was a mentor and a mother spirit to me. I feel her joy and love fill me daily when I need a hug or a nudge her spirit is alive.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

To Journal My Journey: Manifesting a Miracle

Hello Friends,

My hiatus from updating this blog has been long and is now at an end. I appreciate those whom have patiently waited my return. Here I am whole and complete ready to share another journey.

First let me begin with a medical definition. Angiomyolipoma is a fatty benign tumor on the kidney. It is not life threatening. It can be uncomfortable and there is danger of internal bleeding when the tumor begins to grow over 4 cm. The bleeding can be dangerous and painful.

My angiomyolipoma tumor was discovered in  2009 on my right kidney. Since that time it is now 4 cm in size and could begin to bleed. My doctor decided it was time to consider removing this tumor and the surgery was scheduled for 03/21/2014. The surgery has been cancelled. I am relieved and happy about the cancellation of the surgery.

I had a bad feeling about this surgery. I felt it was a bad decision and that transition was imminent if I went under anesthesia. I am at peace so I was following the doctors and my families suggestions that I followed the steps to  proceed with the surgery.  The hospital rescued me from surgery. My deductible has a balance of $771.03 to be met. We do not have that money available to us at this moment, therefore surgery is cancelled.

I have been studying The Unity Movement. The founders of this movement Myrtle and Charles Fillmore are inspirational. I find the story of Myrtle Fillmore especially thrilling given my present circumstance.  Myrtle Fillmore manifested her own miracle and cured herself from tuberculosis. She united her mind, body and spiritual self and manifested a miracle. My brief description above is an over simplification of her actions and journey, but it is the gist of what I intend to do.

My life as of today is not in jeopardy. I am active with my doctors and health care professionals. I am not abandoning modern medicine. I am choosing to be active in my healing. I am choosing to pursue a miracle. I choosing to do something the medical community says can not be done. I am choosing to have my body rid itself of this tumor made of fatty tissue. If in the mean time it begins to bleed I will go to the hospital and have it surgically removed during emergency surgery. If I save the $771.03 in the mean time I will schedule the surgery. God could manifest a miracle by showing me the money. I have no control over the means of a miracle, but I am going to try and manifest my own miracle that this tumor is eliminated from my body.

I will be chronicling my journey here just as I did with my battle with depression, homelessness and following my husband across the United States. I will soon be posting pictures of my prayer and meditation garden. My hope is to help someone else. To inspire someone else to pursue the path less traveled and look for the hope faith brings.



Sunday, September 29, 2013

Many Talents

The story of the coat of many colors is playing through my head this morning. The message of being thankful for what we receive is prominent. I am thankful that I have many talents. I can accomplish just about anything that comes my way inside my home, family and life, challenges be ware. I have a good tool set both physically and mentally. This is a gift the ability to create things from  cloth, wood, or seeds. I understand that and I am so very thankful for it.

My problem how do I take my gift and make a living. My mothers time on earth will be over and I am unprepared to supplement my family income she provides. I am trying not to panic about the possibility of my mother no longer being with me. I have been her elder care giver for 11 years, change could be on the horizon tomorrow or in another 10 years. I have no way of knowing when God will call her home. She is 84 years old and dependent on my care to survive as I am her income. So again I need to prepare for my next step in life.

Accepting reality understanding that all things life change is important. I feel this is the time for me to make decisions as to how I am going to support my end of our family. What am I going to do to supplement our survival? Sew, write, cook, clean what am I going to do? My many gifts, my many loves, my talents are my God given coat of many colors. I am very thankful but so confused on which path to take.

Praying for guidance, health and purity of thought.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Money Pickle

November last year my Mother was released from a Hospice Care facility. A miracle that she survived indeed. I am thankful that we have added time to know each other and for me to learn many lessons.

The care level for my Mother is not simple. Constant repetitive questions that change daily depending on her mood. Moments of anger, moments of activity, moments of confusion are all a part of our day. She is a fall risk and requires routine much like a toddler. A stroke in 2002 shortly after the death of my younger brother Robert brought us to this place in life. She does not remember my brother that part of her mind wiped clean as a slate. I am thankful for that, sometimes dementia brings gifts that prevent us from suffering.

Approximately a month ago, my former employer asked if I would like to come back to work part time. My husband and I discussed it and away I went, back into sales. The care for my mother to have someone in our home to replace me cost us $1000.00 a week. I saw this as a challenge instead of a red flag and I still set forth to get back to work. Two weeks later I realized that the red flag had turned into a big red blinking beacon and I once again resigned my position. $2000.00 poorer for my efforts.

The money pickle began.  This is not something we can not recover from it will take time. I am not hopeless in this situation. There is light at the end of the rainbow. Unity of the Valley is having a craft fair December 7. My daughter makes wonderful bracelets and my mother in law creates fabulous jewelry and I am going to make up some aprons, so we are participating in this event. My mother can attend this event so no day care will be needed. Now I just need the funds and to find reasonable material to create my craft. The money pickle, to make money you need money. I know this so well.

Here we go again, struggling out of a pickle, one bite at a time. I have hope. I have faith. My family will survive this money pickle.