Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Gratitude

Today's Daily Word from www.dailyword.org is Comfort. The affirmation is

 "GOD IS MY SOURCE FOR PEACE AND COMFORT"

This affirmation and the content of our Daily Word fit me today, for I am finding comfort in a grateful heart. Gratitude is an element to comfort. A grateful heart opens me up to peace and comfort.  
I am grateful. Breathing in the moment, I am safe, warm, fed and following a Divine path specific to my soul. I am grateful for the struggle to get to this place. I appreciate my past moments that led me to this place of comfort and gratitude. 

Last weekend, drama entered my life, through outside influences. I attracted this negative energy but I am not going to go back and ruminate on all the details and how it happened. I instead am moving forward with pride in my reaction to the situation. 

I experienced all the anger, sadness and anxiety negative energy creates, but I stayed steady. I kept calm and as quiet as my anxious mind would allow. I did not react towards the energy though, I stayed present and allowed myself to experience the feelings generated. I still ruminated somewhat on the situation. I still asked all the questions of myself, how, why, where, going over past conversations what in the history created this energy, but I did not react. I stayed quiet. 

I will give a tidbit of humor, if the father of my children read this. What I said above he would not believe. This was never my norm. Whenever negative energy would come to me before, I would react and not in a constructive manner. That being said, I am very grateful for the experience of the negative energy and I now know I can truly do this. I am grateful for the lessons and the experience to know my soul has evolved and I am living in Spirit.

I leave you in today with this denial and affirmation.


I do not react to negative energies.
I am quiet and listen to God.

Namaste

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Teresa Wilkinson The Storyteller: Letting Go and Letting God

Teresa Wilkinson The Storyteller: Letting Go and Letting God

Letting Go and Letting God

I relax into a natural state of ease, peace and well being. My prayers begin with action. “Let us take a deep breath inward, filling our bodies with the Divine love of the universe, we exhale all worry and doubt. Releasing that which does not serve us” This action is “Letting Go and Letting God”. Moving into prayer I release.

Release though is not an easy thing to do at times. There are times releasing is the last thing I want to do. I know I need to, I know I should want to, but sometimes releasing is akin to vegetables for a stubborn child. My mother says it is good for me, but cake sounds so much better.

Our dear co-founder Myrtle Fillmore in How to Let God Help You, says;

“Set aside regular periods every day for prayer-times that are most convenient for you”

Although this is a practice of mine. I find I still have times it is difficult to “Let go and Let God”. She goes on to say,

“When you come to the place where you are ready to co-operate with the Source of all good... your indwelling Lord--you are bound to receive his help.”

I can testify that I have received a lot of help from my indwelling spirit, my higher self. Yet I still have an ego, I still have that part that wants to worry, that holds onto crutches and nodes of disaster that could happen. Ego loves to ruminate on disaster or pending doom. Ego also gets in a hurry. and can make me be impatient.  


So the indwelling Lord that Myrtle Fillmore talks about wants us to be patient and take solace in the Divine Order that lays before me. I am to Let Go and Let God. Centering in that space of inner knowledge, I am follow the Divine Guidance knowing the truth that my way is a learning experience and in hindsight I may understand. Yet even in speaking here I want to ruminate on why Letting Go and Letting God is so difficult for me. I find myself dipping into ego as to why this is so hard.

Yet, I know the truth, Letting Go and Letting God is not a dreary task. It is a relief, a release into the ether of everything that is beyond my control. Letting Go and Letting God is relaxing and peaceful a true stress reliever.

I hear many people in relaying their journey stories say, following guidance sometimes they scoffed or had “What the…” moments, but they followed the guidance and moved forward. I have never heard anyone say, “I wish I had not listened to that inner calling” I have heard confusion in the moment of the calling and doubt but ultimately if we Let go and Let God we are led to our ultimate gift, something beyond our wildest dreams.


Prosperity Plus 1 and 2, Mary Morrissey, shares a path to attaining our wildest dreams. Prosperity principles laid out in steps and ideas to achieve our wildest dreams and desires The steps are relatively simple and repetitive. Faith in our inner knowing. Gratitude for what we have. Sharing our time, talent and treasure, listening to intuition and inner guidance. Following thru with our prayer practice and meditation time. Tending a prosperous heart. These steps are all part of Letting Go and Letting God.

Faith is the mustard seed behind all of this. Faith that even though I don’t understand the path, the answer the knowledge will come. Faith that tithing in times of the more month than money it will all work out. Faith that following Divine Guidance my highest good will be revealed and experienced. Let Go and Let God is the essence of faith and is living in a prosperous heart.

I sit up here tonight, talking about, “Letting Go and Letting God” recentering myself in these concepts in the midst of struggle with that which I talk about. This talk is a restatement of the Truth, with a capital T. The big truth is I need to Let Go and Let God do more often. I must release and follow. I must take one step at a time and not rush Divine Order. I must complete what is mine to do now and not worry about what is mine to do tomorrow

I have spent these past few months, stuck on struggle. What if just living one moment at a time is the truth of who I am? What if tomorrow will take care of itself? What if I Let Go and Let God? Do I really have a choice to be otherwise? The big truth here is Letting Go and Letting God is the nirvana. The peaceful countenance of a heart at peace.


Faith to Let Go and Let God is the Divine Order of life.  Living from that place, one moment at a time is my calling. Taking baby steps, just as I breathe one breath at a time, just as my heart beats one beat at a time, I become unhealthy if I hyperventilate or my heart beats rapidly. I can become unhealthy in my life if I try to live more than one moment at a time. I must have faith that this moment is the most important moment in my life. I must have faith that Letting Go and Letting God that my tomorrow will work out just fine my only responsibility is this moment.

I would like to close tonight with a prayer, will you join me?

“As we take a deep breath in, we center in the Divine Order of this moment. We exhale into the universe all that is not ours to do. We Let Go and Let God together, knowing the absolute truth is God is Good and because we are Letting Go and Letting God and surrounded in truth and love of the universe we say together; Thank you God, Amen.”

Now let’s all take a one more deep breath in and exhale slowly.


Namaste

Monday, September 12, 2016

Doggy Troubles


My Dog Stormy


Stormy is a big black Labrador. She loves to ride, run, walk, eat and sleep just like most dogs. She is usually a gentle giant. Stormy and I have a connection, trust and faith in each other and we can both be dangerous when we loose our cool. 

Stormy hurt her sister yesterday. A much smaller dog. I won't say it was an accident, the situation that led to the behavior was an accident. A string of errors that lead to a moment of confusion that resulted in Stormy biting my husbands dog. 

Owning a big dog means constant vigilance of their size, their behavior and the tension in the home. Our home this past weekend was high tension. Humans and drama, I hate drama, can be very dangerous when a large dog is in the home.

Our little dog will recover, but we had to find a vet on a Sunday. Enter into this saga, Sue Chen, DVM, MPWM of Veterinary Outreach. She saved my dog/human family on a Sunday morning. I did not panic but I was fearful of taking our small dog to an emergency clinic to be stitched and vetted on a Sunday. Emergency clinics for a dog is very expensive. The cost which is usually on a cash basis can be heartbreaking and bank breaking.

I met Sue Chen by chance, she owns the home across the street from us. We had a short conversation and she gave me her business card. She offered at the time to vaccinate and health check our dogs. I kept her card. I liked Sue when we met. She is friendly with a big smile that  her heart and caring shows an shines from within, but money has been tight and time has been even tighter and I had not taken my dogs to her yet.

When this accident happened I did not panic. My husband and I took one step at a time. Taking care that everyone was safe, before we rushed our little ball of joy to the emergency clinic. I took time to think and I called Sue. Sue was ready and willing to help. I never asked about cost, I was pleased that she was willing to see our pet on a moments notice. I just knew the expense was going to be what it was and my husband and I would figure it out, maybe sell a kidney or something

I told Sue, what had happened, that I didn't think there were any broken bones, but our little one needed to be checked and stitched. We took her to Veterinary Outreach, the ranch is a pleasant place. the Bible verse

"Ask the animals, for they will teach you..." ~Job 12:7

is posted on the entrance gate as is the CETA foundation logo:



Sue met us with compassion, understanding and a beautiful heart as we showed her the damage to our baby girl. The wound was deep and ugly. Sue took our little one into the ranch and examined her. She agreed no broken bones just a nasty bite and bruising. We were all lucky on that account. 

We left little one in Sue's care and went home to clean up after the accident in our home. Sue numbed the area with a local anesthetic cleaned the wound, stapled up our baby and called us a little while later. Our baby was ready to come home. 

Sue's care and ability to work on our baby without putting her out, meant the cost was reduced. Out dog is not trying to recover from the trauma of the bite and all the nasty side affects of being chemically anesthetized. We were relieved to see our little baby happy to see us and ready to go home. 

Sue Chan, DVM, MPVM, 
5046 Midway Rd.
Vacaville, CA 95688
530-219-0580
suechandvm@sbcglobal.net
www.vetoutreach.net

Has my recommendation and heartfelt appreciation for her willingness to help in our crisis. She is now our vet.

Spirit leads us through situations for sometimes unforeseen reasons, I am grateful for Sue Chan and our little ones chance at a full recovery. I am also blessed that this Sunday accident did not send us into a week or more of financial struggle. 

Thank you universe and Thank you Sue Chan, DVM, MPVM. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Transforming Self

Transformation is a moment to moment process. My current thought pattern is how to write a compelling, helpful book and create a website that shouts my truth. This process is exciting. I know my truth is that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I leave behind my depression, kidney disease and other ailments. This had led to my transformation into a healthy vibrant woman. Filled with hope and gratitude.

My first attempt at writing a transformation paper. Led to me going over old wounds and success. I began to delve into the life that brought me to the me I am in this moment. While all of that information is useful to know there was a process a life that created this life. When I began to pick up all of that clutter I developed a  pain in my hands. This pain was not a momentary discomfort, it actually prohibited me from doing the things I love.

A friend of mine once asked me, "What are you not letting go of?" when pain had previously occurred in my hands. I remembered that conversation one night during my meditation time. I asked that question and the pain in my hands began to leave. I discovered that writing about the history behind my transformation I was picking up what I had let go.

My healing is the most important part of my story. My transformation is the most important part of my story. The details and history behind the suicide, the kidney disease, and the depression was the path but not the definition of the story. I did not need to pick up old stuff to write this paper. I have started over.

My suicide was the beginning of healing. My life transformed that night. I did not realize it at the time but that was the beginning of a miraculous journey to now. It was a baptism through fire, a rebirth of me and a slow process. I wish I could have received my knowledge without my journey taking that drastic of a turn but it did and I survived.

My kidney disease was an attempt to end this journey with out consciously doing the action to end my life. Depression and fear were still with me. I was still walking in fear and that fear materialized in my kidneys and liver. I was still trying to die. I was still holding on to my history and not moving forward in my life, my moment.

When I finally decided to live, I found myself destitute in spirit, financial, and love. I felt love for my husband, children and family but I could not give love. I still did not love myself. I was very broken. I believed in that moment I could never return. I was right. I could not return to the person I was. She did not exist in my now moment.

Slowly I learned. Slowly I took a step. I realized my health and happiness were gifts I could only give myself. I had to love myself to heal completely. Turning off the illness took time I began exercising for the release of the endorphin. That internal feel good hormone that we can only produce for ourselves. I began to eat better and make friends. I reached out the only place I had at the time the internet. I joined groups and I began to laugh and cry with other women.

The internet opened a door to connection. I had disconnect myself from everyone in my life and being able to sit a computer without having to dress and make a first impression with my physical body brought a freedom to express myself. That first step lead to me longing for real time connections. For the first time in my life I wanted to experience other people on an intellectual level. My relationships up until that point had been  physical. I used my body to get the connection, but I was to scared to voice my thoughts. Confidence slowly began to build that my mind was worth sharing and I had value.

This is the beginning of my transformation story. I vow not to ruminate in the events of my life that led to that transformation. I vow to share the story of the transformation. The life I have now and the principles that led me to this moment.  

Monday, May 2, 2016

Thoughts of the Evolution of Creation

This morning my mind was wandering in typical Teresa Wilkinson style, while eating my breakfast. I was thinking about the un-publishing of The Phillamanteca: The Story of Jane. My creation my work for several years while I was beginning the healing process. The joyful sadness that I could take it down as I am past that point in my life. I am healed.

I was thinking of that process the years and time it took to get to this point. Then the idea of the evolution of creation came upon me. Cells forming a union, multiplying, dividing all working together to become something. The Divine Love behind that very small beginning. How our universe works and the miracle of the evolution of creation.


The cells above look like a piece of our universe when you compare the two.


Inside  each of us is the beginning of a universe. Inside everything on our planet Earth is a smaller universe, and inside that is a cellular universe and on and on and on. If you go to Google Earth you can put in your address or any location and the program will zoom you in or out from that point with satellite imagery. This puts me in a different perspective.

 I walk into my backyard and I have control over the plants that stay and grow and the ones that are pulled and die. I am the Divine Love that makes the decision in a moment of what is good and stays and what needs to perish for the greater good. Yet as I look at Google Earth and I think about the size of my domain the trees I affect, the flowers, vegetables and weeds that are in that domain. I realize just how small that domain truly is in perspective to the vast earth that is not my domain. 

My individual Divine Love and Guidance is very very small, but very important to my well being and that of my family. I am not disparaging that my impact is minute. I am having an awe filled moment of the gift of life. The gift of our universe the wonder of cells uniting to create the world I am a piece of in this moment. This moment that is unlike the one just before it and the one that will come after it. 

I believe in God a Divine Love and Creator of our universe. I believe that the power of Divine Love has a plan for us and how we choose to express ourselves is the rejection or acceptance of a preordained path that was in place when those tiny cells came together and became. Ranchers and farmers discovered that by breeding animals with desirable traits together you could manipulate the product of your herd line to an optimum level, to resist disease, have tender meat, produce larger quantities of milk or do what needed to be done. A stronger breed of oxen to pull the cart to town. A small cuddly dog to sit in a lap or a huge dog to protect the family and the little lap dog. 

 

The evolution of creation has no limits, be it a human creator trying to make their domain stronger or friendlier or God, Divine Love, Spirit, there has to be a creator. Something that manipulates the stuff and encourages life to happen. 

This is why I am who I am, this is why you are who you are. Divine Love is at work. There is, and I suppose always will be things, that are beyond my control that I do not understand. Sometimes it is the rebirth of a weed in my back yard. I know I pulled the complete root out. (pesky things) Sometimes it is the gift of surprise, (oops I didn't plan for that). I know miracles happen, at least to us they are miracles because we don't see how it was possible, but I believe that everything is a part of a Divine Plan, one I don't always understand. I believe there are tasks that are absolutely mine to do, things that were set in motion before I was born. I also believe I have choices and those choices determine the outcome of the Divine Plan.

I leave you with this: If you are feeling small today go look at the weed in your back yard and remember you have dominion over it. If you are feeling larger than life, maybe a little full of yourself or ego minded go to Google Earth and put yourself back in perspective. Remember the evolution of creation is inside you and surrounds you all day, every day for eternity.

Namaste


Saturday, April 30, 2016

My Journey as a Writer

Hello Friends,

It has been a long while since I have posted to this blog. There is a lot of news to share.

I have experienced a spiritual awakening. This process began during my serious illness many years ago, but I am now admitting to myself, through reflection and living what my path was and is.

I am still a storyteller, but my stories have taken a turn. This was something I was unwilling to share, therefore I did not write on this public forum. My spirituality I walked in fear of sharing, for these past few years.Now, I have been guided now to share.

Tomorrow, May 1st, 2016, The Phillamanteca: The Story of Jane will no longer be available. The story, although it is a metaphor for a period in my life, does not reflect the complete story of me. I will always feel that with help and guidance I had the strength to save my self, as Jane did, but there is so much more to the story. I may elect to publish the novel again at a later date, but for now it is going into my personal archives.

The spiritual journey I have enjoyed through this lifetime is remarkable. I am learning how wonderful our universal energy is and the  joy and  sorrow, miracle of life is all part of the amazing journey. My awakening began as a child. I rejected it for many many years, now I am aligning with my true calling and I am renewed to share.

Blessings and Namaste,

Teresa Wilkinson